Tuesday, October 16, 2007

FoodCrack Confessions

You’d think that because I blog about food I’d have great, maybe even admirable eating habits. If that were only true. As mentioned in a previous post, I have a rather extreme and complicated relationship with food.

Yesterday I forgot to bring my lunch to work. I was famished after teaching three periods. This happens often. There's no kosher food joints anywhere nearby, so I forage for a meal in the local CVS, where the food aisle consists of candy bars from Hell, pistachios, beef jerky, Suzy-Q’s, any kind of chip or pretzel, marshmallows and a bevy of assorted deep-fried obscenities.

It doesn’t take a person long to realize that there is little, if any, respectable food to be bought in the New York City drugstores.

There is, however, tons of FoodCrack.

Yesterday, I cracked out. Hard.

I emerged from the store with a bag containing a box of Fiddle-Faddle, a large bag of Utz Party Mix and one 20oz. blue PowerAde. The Skor bar never even made it into the bag. It was gone by the time I reached the corner.

I ate the Fiddle-Faddle immediately once inside, and was half way through the Party Mix when the party was over. I had hit the bottom. There was nacho cheese on my fingers and tie.

I gave the rest of the bag away to my coworkers who quickly devoured the rest.

Now I’m a FoodCrack pusher as well.

I've been pretty good about this kind of stuff all year so far.

But I think I just fell off the wagon. Again.


Seth said...


What the hell is your problem? How is this even possible? How are we such good friends?

We are in New Jack City. You are Chris Rock's Pookie and I am Ice-T's character Scotty Appleton.

By the way, how dare you destroy the beautiful, respectful aesthetics of our blog with a picture of fiddle-faddle? Wait till Suzanne sees this!

What the hell is fiddle-faddle? Popcorn? Bullshit! I don't believe a word that box says.

The only thing to do now is write about your epic feast at the farmer's market. You, sir, have reached the pinnacle of FoodCrack.

Steve said...

Fiddle-Faddle is little nuggets of love.

With peanuts.

Karen said...

This post made me laugh so hard!

Seth it right, Steve, now you'll just have to share the farmer's market story or perhaps he can share it from an observer's point-of-view!

Seth said...


Seth it right.

I like that expression.

It sort of like replaces, Do it right.

Seth it right Steve.